miss sage

Oct 8, 20217 min read

being in love?

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being in love

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hi there!

I have always been described as a passionate person. The one who easily falls in love with the people I have close in my life, the world around me. My passions, my hobbies, my friends, my family… Although the world can be messed up I have fallen in love with it. For me there are different levels of love that I’d love to discuss.

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the love for your family

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(**note that this does not necessarily mean biologically for everyone).

The love of your family that will always support you wholeheartedly through all stages of your life. Whether it's a grandparent who loves to cook for you with immense love, a person who was once a stranger who is now unspokenly your family, or even just the support from the people you live with. This relationship is so significant, it’s a part of love that is often left unspoken because there is nothing to say. The unconditional love is a comfort that most of us are so lucky to live with. My advice, I know being a teenager is hard but remember they went through it too. As someone who has gone through six years of highschool with the braces, the pimply face and the frizzy hair (which is now mostly tamed), multiple friend groups have come and gone but my family has always stayed. I know it can be fun and tempting to always prioritise friendships (I’m very guilty of this), make sure to maintain a balance because your family always stays. Be in love with your family in a non Alabama way, because it is one of the most cherished relationships you’ll have.

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the love for your friends

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Who doesn’t love their friends? They get us through the whirlwind of teenage years and they mean the world to us! There are many different types of friends that are so amazing to be in love with! The taboo nature of being in love with your friends needs to vanish. There is a rich platonic love for your friends that is so special to cherish. Being in love with your school friends is what gets you through those maths classes, the long assemblies, the bad grade handed back after a test, the crunch time of each term… the memories that you’ll cherish once you graduate and move into the next chapter of your life. They can be one of the hardest relationships to maintain but true friends stick with you through it all. The intimacy with my friends is what drives me everyday. The way they comfort me when I’m sobbing to them about my life, the feeling of the hugs they give me every single morning, the laughter we share about the stupidest things. It is so special and I am forever grateful to them. My advice? Be more in love with your friends! The way they smile when they see you, their quirks, their passions and be willingly to share it with them. The healthiest friendship you can have is one that is 50/50. Make sure to be balanced with them… if they buy you a coffee one day, shout them at the canteen the next day. If they make the plans one day, offer the next. Friendships can come in different shapes and sizes, between the class friends that help you get through that subject to your best friend who you share every detail of your life with. Cherish the moments you spend with them, because as a girl in the class of 21, we didn’t get that privilege in the last term of our highschool years. Have love for your friends outside of school too!

To those with online friends who seem to be the only ones who understand you, I do too! Online friendships are amazing, there is no judgement and it tends to be a safer space regardless of your sexuality, religion, gender identity etc. It tends to be labelled as taboo to have an online friend, and whilst it can be a dangerous place online, my online friends have provided me with such a comfort I cant receive from my ‘physical’ friends. As someone who’s had my two online best friends for over 6 years now, they are a different type of love. The intimacy we share from miles away (and even over an ocean) is amazing. We get to nerd out on our favourite shows, video games, books and a life outside of your life. It's a place to shut off the everyday drama and live in this whole new world. Online friendships are a love I will never forget, especially after sticking with me through all my fanatic phases. My advice on being in love with your online friends is to cherish every moment you have. Making plans with them even if it’s a year away keeps our friendship so strong and I feel so lucky to have them right next door in New Zealand. No matter how many hours you spend with them or the hours you don’t, make sure to always check in on them. Just because I don’t call them for five hours a day anymore doesn’t mean I love them any less. Surviving an online friendship through the long distance creates a bond that can never be broken.

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the love for your crush

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The true love of a crush is a different type of love. The obsession over little details and the constant fantasies can often consume the mind. The love of a crush whether it’s a person from school, outside of school or online can feel so euphoric. Between the butterflies in your stomach, the fixations of every conversation, is magical to feel in love. My advice is to not let it consume you a little too much… healthy boundaries are probably best. I know it sounds like a broken record, but you should never let it get in the way of your life. Also just ask them out! If you feel like they are interested and it is a healthy relationship, for sure you should just go for it!

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the love for fictional characters

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This is the type of love that feels so unique, whether it's a fictional character from your favourite movie, tv show, book, video game or even a celebrity. The love of fictional characters can often hurt due to the unreachable nature behind it but the other side of the coin is so magical. You may ask why celebrities are considered as fictional character despite being real people? Well the conceptualism behind celebrities creates a sense of fiction for the world. But the great thing about love for fictional characters is the creation of a safe space where there is no judgement and a lot of feelings. My advice? It’s normal, and it’s valid. As long as you have respect for the fictional character it is completely healthy! Make sure to indulge in it, but be cautious to not let it consume your life. The temptation of fantasy is often strong and feels amazing at times, but it's about remembering that it is all fantasy is the most important detail. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of love for fictional characters, I still do (#067 from squid game, lady dimitrescu etc…). Whether it's crushing on them or even a platonic love, like they get me when no-one would, it is totally healthy within boundaries! Keep on loving <33

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the love for your partner

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This is the most intimate type of love. It is a type of love that will never be replicated, no matter how many partners you may have. It is a magical feeling being in a healthy relationship with someone who truly understands you and is your world! In our current society there is so much media idealism as to what relationships should be like, but everyone's experiences are completely unique! In our age demographic there is so much skepticism along with many lessons learnt. Relationships will teach you many things not about others around you but also about yourself! What you like and need in a relationship. There is so much not talked about in relationships and they take a lot of work! There are fights, sweat, tears and so many beautiful memories! What makes a relationship worth it is the good memories outweighing the bad, because unfortunately there will always be burdens and bad times in relationships. But getting to know your partner and communicating is the key to a successful relationship. Being in love is such a lucky and random feeling. Unfortunately we can’t force love, it comes naturally. I have gone through so many tries and for me, my current relationship is definitely a representation of me being in love. This level of love is so hard to give advice because every single person's experience is different. If you’d love to email me, I would be more than happy to talk with you about it <33 my email will be linked at the bottom of this post! But some generalised advice I can give is make sure it is 50/50. Both parties need to put love and work into a relationship. You will learn so many lessons about yourself and each other along the way but it’s all part of the process. Don’t be discouraged if it hasn’t worked out… It's taken me quite a few tries with many years of lessons learnt.

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the love for yourself

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This is probably the trickiest one to achieve for many. There is so much love given out to others and often I find people our age forget to put that same love back into themselves! You are all beautiful and unique! I get it… the media is so prevalent in our current age and lockdown is really not doing any favours to our self esteem. But being in love with yourself is so important. It's something so complex that fluctuates faster than the scooby doo roller coaster at movie world. My advice is don’t let physicality pull you into your insecurities, you are much more than your physical body! Whilst yes, everyone cares about how they look, they seem to forget what we love about them the most! Their quirks, their interests, their personality, their charisma and humour, their passions, their love for things in the world! I love that one of my bestfriends loves the Barbie movies as much as I do, who truly embodies Annelise from Princess and the Pauper! I love that my other best friend sees the world in such an optimistic and laid back way, encouraging me to do the same, I always have a good time with her. I love that one of my best friends sends me tiktoks that make me laugh! I love that yet another best friend loves the same obsessions as me such as marina, she-ra, and squid game (they truly get me). They are all such beautiful souls inside and out who I hope everyday look in the mirror and see how awesome they are! My advice, be gentle with yourself! Not only to your body, but your academic abilities, your physical abilities, and never be ashamed of having a passion and love for something! It makes you… well you! And I love you!

I hope this helped! If you have any other questions or would like to talk, my email is a safe space <33 Don’t put so much pressure on being in love! I promise my dear it will come!

♡